“I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing to my God with my dying breath.” (ps. 146:2)
The past few months, I have been seriously challenged in my faith. Tonight I was looking back on my journal. No, this in not the average journal. After reading embarassing “diaries” from my shameful middle school years, page after page of my boring daily life and “love life” (more like lack of), I decided to only journal my prayers, though they are more like letters to God, or I will write down some notes from scripture or messages. My thoughts have transformed from my selfish flesh desires of jealousy, pride and my overall idolatry. For too long I was putting my loneliness or business ahead of God. My eyes have been opened to God’s power and the power he has given us as his children through the Holy Spirit. For too long I was living too comfortable and lukewarm. I never want to return to that idle state of contentment. My thoughts are no longer on myself, but my thoughts have turned into a constant prayer. I am in no way trying to say, “Look at me!” but I have fallen madly in love with my Savior and have seen him move and work in spectacular ways since I have become crazy in love with Him. For instance, I was looking over my journal and answered prayers.
Here’s a list:
-I prayed for the desire to thirst for the Word of God, and I am THIRSTY!
-Friday, I was really down and discouraged, and I was nervous about being a leader at this Disciple Now I had last weekend and I prayed that God would give me encouragement. That afternoon, my mom left a note of encouragement in my shoe (my mom has always done really cute things like that) and that Saturday night my sister sent me a long message. That was seriously a God thing!
-This past weekend I had something on my heart, and I prayed for confirmation. I can’t really be specific, but the Lord confirmed it three times.
-Saturday I prayed for a blessing. Boy, I got it! With the youth group from First Baptist Dallas and Fortified Hills, we went to Rescue Atlanta and with The Samaritans Feet, we got to wash homeless people’s feet and put a new pair of shoes on these truly thankful people. It was a humbling experience. I really love to serve; that is definitely one of my spiritual gifts. (That and encouragement!)
I might also add, God healed my hand from a possible blood clot one Sunday night. All by the Holy Spirit! The power of Faith and Prayer right there!
Before, I put God into a box. A box that had been built from years of Sunday School and pointless bulletins. Meaningless! Meaningless! Meaningless religion! There was no room for spiritual growth in this box; no coloring outside the lines! (I am studying to be an early childhood teacher and I get real defensive when it comes to limiting creativity!!!) It reminds me of one of my favorite Pixar movies, Wall-e. If you have seen the movie, you will understand. The people on this Space Cruise, are living this comfortable life. So comfortable in fact, they are not challenged to do anything. They don’t even have to learn how to walk! They do not have to make decisions and they don’t even know the basics of an education. (I love the scene where the captain is exploring what earth was like and he is looking up words like “dance,” and “ho-down.”) When the captain knows there can be life on earth again, he sees how corrupt and controlling this lifestyle has become. In the end (hate to ruin the story), the people are able to return to earth, but they have to basically relearn all the essentials or foundations of human life.
I think that is the stage that I am going through right now. I am learning to question more; to have a child-like faith. I am learning how to pray. Seriously, I am learning how to act like a follower of God should act, and I say this admitting the fact that before my faith was radicalized, I was doing enough to be considered a Christian. I recently read the book “Crazy Love,” by Francis Chan and he wrote something along the lines of, “if we are truly living for God, we will not be asking ‘How little can I do, and still be considered a Christian?” My question is now, “What can else can I do for the one who selfishly gave up his life to save an undeserving sinful people?”
I am done with my rant but I had to say all his and it all just came out when I starting typing on my computer. I really love to write. My fingers cannot type anymore but to conclude, I was challenged with a question in that book:
“What are you doing right now that requires faith?”
Oh and here are some recent pictures!
Cutest Baby EVER!
It really is important to have that solid group of friends to pray with and to know they’ve got your back. here are some of the people I have to thank for challenging me and encouraging me in my walk with God:
Doss.
Seester.
The Boys. or should I say men? They are strong leaders and men of great wisdom and faith. (this is a weird picture, but its the closest I’ve got of most of them. I need to take more pictures of them. They have been really influential in my life. My prayer buddies right there!)
KK.
Remain in Him! 1 Chronicles 28:20.
